How do you two find the time to connect while running multiple businesses and have three young kids?
I have gotten this question asked to me via social and in person, time and time again. I can fully say that it was and it still a process that we are continually learning to readjust and work on. But there came a point in our relationship where we needed to do something radical. We were both burnt out, tired from work and parenting, and giving one another the short end of the stick all the time. It was leaving us in competition with one another, not supporting one another. Something had to give. So here are the 3 things we decided were going to be non-negotiable from that point forward.
1. Prioritize OUR time before anything else.
At the beginning of each month, we look forward and plan out when we will be having date nights ( at home or out), when the other person will be doing activities out of the house, and also how we want our family time together spent. Now this can change, and we go with the flow as much as possible, but knowing ahead of time has helped our expectations and communication increase dramatically.
2. Respect one another's alone time.
Every month there is a set time that we each need our alone time. It is important for not only our mindsets as business owners, but also as parents, and spouses. When we know ahead of time that the other person needs this time alone, we can respect that space and allow the other one to gain perspective in what they are currently invested in.
3. Be more intimate.
Yep! I said it! Before we had began our health journeys, sex was something that I didn't really look forward to. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think my husband is a fox, but it was more geared to the fact that I didn't feel good about myself, inside and out. Once I began working on my emotional, mental, and physical health, something inside me shifted. I started seeing myself as something that was worthy of affection. Plus, when you increase intimacy, you create healthy endorphins within your body that help increase mood, and elevated serotonin in your brain. I'd say that within itself is a win:win! If you are struggling with your spouse in the bedroom department, the podcast episode Let's Talk About Sex Baby! by Dave and Rachel Hollis on RISE Together was life changing for us and we hope it can be for you too!
Ultimately, it was creating intentional habits within our relationship that actually changed it. We still have our moments, or seasons, where if not careful, we can fall easily back into old habits. So we are a work in progress, just like everyone else.
If you are struggling within your relationship, don't hesitate to reach out. We might not be marriage counselors, but we are Christians who care and want to see your relationship succeed.